It’s so Hard to Say Goodbye Part 2

I received some great feedback from my article - 'It's so Hard to Say Goodbye' - last week. If you missed it please go to www.everydayasunday.blogspot.com. One email really captured the essence of the difficulty our OFWs face as they go overseas looking for a better life for their family. Here is a summary...

We have this notion that if you're an OFW, you're rich. That's not TRUE! We earn more, but to say that we are rich is a fallacy. It is sooo hard being an OFW. Kailangan magtipid, hanggang kaya. It is also true, food is delicious but most of the time, we have to be contented with, noodles and eggs in order for us to save. Most of the OFW’s money goes to the family back home. Mostly we ask ourselves, why are we still paying for the bills i.e. electricity, water, cable, internet. It is obvious that we are not there to consume or use those bills. Sometimes my sister will text me just to say "Wala kami pambili ng GASUL!” Can you imagine that? What will happen if we are not here? How can they even manage to cook THEIR food? What's even worse is if you cannot give them the money that they say is "utang", sila pa may gana magalit at magtampo sayo!

Hindi bato ang OFW, tao rin ang OFW, hindi money o cash machine. Napapagod rin, nalulungkot (madalas), nagkakasakit, nag-iisip at nagugutom. Kailangan din ang suporta, kundi man physically, emotionally o spiritually man lang.

We did not want to leave our love ones behind, but what we can do? It is so nice to be by their side while you watch a movie, eat galunggong or pinakbet. But sad to say, we must leave all of those so that they too can enjoy the fruits of our labor.

All we need is just a little understanding from our dear families back home. Di nyo nalalaman na umiiyak kami every night dahil sobra naming kayo na mimiss. Kayo naman, piso lang ang text sa roaming, mano ba naman send nyo kami kahit "HI, HELLO, MUSTA NA KAYO". Mababaw lang ang happiness ng OFW…. A simple text message will go a looong way.

You can email me on hoover@barongroup.com.ph

It's so Hard to Say Goodbye

I was on the plane to Hong Kong last week and was sitting next to two OFW ladies. I accidentally overheard their conversation which made me sad. Both these ladies were sharing their pain about having to leave their kids in the Philippines and go overseas to work. Both have been OFWs for over 10 years. Literally they have missed their children grow up. Sadly this is a common fact in our country but most of the time a necessary one. My mom left us here for a couple of years while she settled in New Zealand before we joined her so I know the pain and sacrifice it takes to leave your loved ones home.

What made me sad is that the lady was saying that when she started working overseas the idea was that she would save enough money so that she wouldn't be away from her family for too long. Maybe 5 years max. But its been 10 years already and she has little savings! She mentioned the usual problems that I hear from other OFWs:

• She underestimated the expenses. When you work overseas you will earn more BUT you also spend more!
• She sent money home to her extended family only to watch it disappear! Most of the time she sends it for one thing but it gets spent for something else! In the end a lot of it doesn't get spent on her kids but on the people who take care of her kids.
• Her extended family thinks that because she works overseas she is now BIG TIME! Suddenly they think she is the answer to their prayers and start asking her for all sorts of help. They don't know how hard she works just to make ends meet!

So listen up! Here are tips from successful OFWs that I have talked to who have managed to save while working overseas and who now provide a comfortable life for their kids.

• If you aren't saving 50% of your salary then you should rethink why you are working overseas. It’s not worth leaving your spouse and kids if you aren't saving 50%.
• This means... Spend your money in pesos. Watch your expenses! Just because you work in the US it doesn't mean that you spend the way the Americans spend. Same in any other country. A good tip is to convert each expense to pesos all the time so you can gauge if the item is cheap or not. Live simply while you are working overseas. Always keep in mind why you are there.
• Watch what you send. When you work overseas someone is taking care of your children. It may be your spouse, your parents, your brother or sister. Agree on what you are going to send on a monthly basis and make sure its within your budget. Nothing more! Save the rest and invest it if you can.
• Don't spoil your kids. Most OFWs are so guilty about leaving their children that when they see them they take them on trips or shower them with expensive gifts. Stop that! Always remind yourself and your kids why you are doing what you are doing. How can you save when you spend all your money when you go back home! You go back to work and start from zero again! Useless!
• Lastly, tell the rest of your family that you are not made of money and that you don't want to keep working overseas forever. They can't always rely on you for their needs. I know! I know! Easy to say hard to do. Hey! Nothing in life is easy but if you are strong enough to leave your family to work overseas, you must be strong enough to tell them that they can't keep relying on you!

To the millions of OFWs who leave their spouse and kids behind. I salute you! I don't think I could do what you do. I'd love to hear your stories. Email me on hoover@barongroup.com.ph

No pain, No gain.

Today I want to tell you a story about a man I know who started out as poor and worked hard all his life and managed to achieve a level of success in his life. When he started his family he promised that his kids would have the best things in life and that he would do everything in his power so that his kids would not suffer the hardship that he had experienced. He raised his kids with the best he could afford - the best schools, best clothes, best everything. The kids were sheltered from all the hardships in life. All would be ok except for two things.

The business of this man is not doing well because of the current economic situation. And, since the kids have grown up sheltered they have no desire to work, no hunger to be successful and no capacity to earn money.

He has a big problem. He has enough money for him to survive. The problem is he can't keep supporting the lifestyle of his kids. They are so used to the best now they can't afford it.

This man had a proven formula for success - Hard work, Perseverance, Patience, and to never give up when there is a setback. He will probably survive and become a success again but he never taught this proven formula to his kids. He never let his kids experience hardship. He gave them the best. He spoiled them.

This would be fine if everything in life is always up but life is never like that. We love our kids so much that sometimes we don't want them to feel any pain. The problem is when they don't feel pain they will suffer later in life.

Don't let this happen to your kids. Make sure your kids experience hardship and setbacks in their life. Make sure they know the value of hard work and perseverance. A little bit of pain in life will ensure they gain later in life.

For more information on how I can help you email me on hoover@barongroup.com.ph.

In a debt spiral? huwag ka magtago!

Just got a call from a friend of mine who says that the credit card companies have been calling her non-stop trying to collect the 'utang' she owes. She doesn't have the money to pay so she’s doing what most people do - HIDE. My friend is in what they call a debt spiral – forever living with debt.

I have been on both sides. I have borrowed money and I have lent money to people. I know what it feels like to be behind on payments and I know what it feels like when delinquent borrowers don't answer my calls or texts!

There is one thing that lenders hate more than people who are late in paying and that is, people who HIDE! Look, if you borrowed money, the least you can do is pay it back! My mom always told me that 'your name is more important than money. Money can always be made if your integrity is intact but if your name is gone it’s much harder to make money.'

Take it from me... A lender will appreciate it more if you don't hide even if you have no money to pay and in most cases they may even help you by lowering interest payments and waiving charges.

Here is a basic step-by-step system on how to get out of a debt spiral:

• Commit. Make a promise to yourself that you will pay-off your debts.
• Stop borrowing! You can't borrow to pay off another loan. You are just creating a deeper hole for yourself. Tell the truth and tell everyone to give you time to pay off your debt. Don't be scared of threats of legal action. After all you can't squeeze blood from a stone. Panicking and borrowing to pay off other loans will cause more harm than good in the long run.
• Stop Spending! Just because you stopped paying your debts it doesn't give you the right to spend. Your priority is basic needs like food, shelter and transportation. After that it’s paying off debts! No new clothes, no texting, no going out! Sell unneeded assets. Look it’s probably all of this that got you in debt in the first place. You have had your fun now it’s time to pay it back.
• Work. Take a part time job. Work overtime. Do whatever it takes to make extra money so you can pay off your debt faster.
• Make a promise and pay. It doesn't matter how much. It could be 1 peso per day. As long as your lender is seeing your commitment to pay then they will help you. Make your payments achievable so that you don't break your promise, most people are so scared of their lender that they make promises they can't achieve. It’s better to under promise and over deliver.
• Negotiate. You only negotiate once you have re-established your credibility and have made consistent payments. Negotiate to waive penalty charges and additional interest or even to lower the loan itself. Just make sure you keep paying.

If you want help to get out of the debt spiral email me on

hoover@barongroup.com.ph.